Mommy, Mommy! Jokes are a funny yet disturbing lot of jokes about a horrible mother's responses to her kid's questions, usually starting with the words "Shut up..."

Mommy, Mommy!Why do I keep running in circles?
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off a cliff?
Shut up or you'll wake daddy.

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat?
Shut up and eat your meat loaf.

Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner?
Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.

Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's guts.
Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.

Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child?
Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.

Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child?
Shut up and pass me the crowbar.

Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men?
Shut up and get back in the oven.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!

Mommy, Mommy! Grandma's got a bruise.
Shut up and eat around it!

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa?
Shut up and get back in the box!

Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!
Shut up and comb your face!

Mommy, Mommy! Billy won't let go of my ear.
Billy, let go of Susie's ear.
Billy! Let go of her ear!
All right Billy, give me the ear.

Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts.
Well, just leave them on the side of the plate.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale?
Shut up and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like grandpa.
Well, just push him aside and eat your beans.

Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
Well throw some more gasoline on him then.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia.
Shut up son and keep swimming.

Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running?
Shut up and reload.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy zigzagging in the yard?
Shut up and shoot again!

Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma!
Shut up and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?
Shut up and flush.

Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim!
Shut up or I'll flush it again!

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for supper!
Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.

Mommy, Mommy! I hate tomato juice!
Shut up and drink it before it clots.

Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire?
Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup!
Shut up, we only have it once a month.

Mommy, Mommy! I hate spaghetti!
Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm.