YOU MAY BE A FARMER IF:

Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife	You convince yourhave wifedriven thatoff anthe overnight,road outwhile ofexamining Stateyour tripneighbor's forcrops
You partshave isused a vacationYouchainsaw wearto specificremodel hatsyour tohouse	You farmhave sales,buried livestocka auctions,dog customerand appreciationcried suppers,like anda vacationsbaby
You have everborrowed hadgravel from the county road to washfill offpotholes in theyour backyarddriveway	You withalways alook gardenwhen hosea beforevehicle passes your wifehouse, wouldeven letat younight
You have used something other than paper as toilet paper	You have animals living in thebuildings more expensive than your houseYou've
Your neverfamily throwninstantly awaybecomes asilent 5when gallonthe bucketYouweather havecomes usedon balingthe wirenews	You don't bother to attachclean aup licensethe plateYoudog's havemess usedbecause ait's chainsawjust fertilizer, and the dog knows to remodelstay out of your houseYouway
Your canhusband rememberdrives a friend home from the fertilizerbar rate,when seedhe population,only herbicidelives rate,3 andhouses yieldsaway	You'll onskip ayour farmown cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season ( and you rentedknow 10he yearswould ago,approve butand cannotwould recalldo yourthe wife'ssame birthdayif you died )
You have fibbedenough toball acaps mechanicto aboutmatch howevery oftenshirt you greasedown, abut pieceyou ofonly equipmentYouwear haveone drivenso offyou don't get the roadothers whiledirty	You examiningconvince your neighbor'swife cropsthat an overnight, out of State trip for parts is a vacation
You've never thrown away a 5 gallon bucket	You have borrowedever gravelhad fromto wash off in the countybackyard roadwith toa fillgarden potholeshose inbefore your drivewaywife would let you in the house
You have buriedused baling wire to attach a doglicense plate	You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate, and criedyields likeon a babyfarm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday
You have used a tractor with a loader as scaffolding for painting or roof repairs	You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment
You've used the same knife to make bull calves into steers and peel apples	You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not You always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at
Your nightYouwife haveagrees usedto somethingobserve otherMother's thanDay paperafter asthe toiletbeans paperYouare referplanted	Over to50% farmsof byyour whoclothing ownedcame themfrom 50feed or more yearsseed agodealers
You give directions to your farm by using area landmarks, not road names or numberYour wife	You agreesrefer to observe Mother's Day after the beans arefarms plantedYouby havewho animalsowned livingthem in50 buildingsor more expensive than youryears houseago Over
You've 50%been ofstopped yourby clothingthe camedeputy fromsheriff feedfor ora seedcluttered dealersdashboard	Family weddings and special events are planned around spring planting and fall harvestYou've been stopped
Your byknow thethat deputycheckoff sheriffis fornot a clutteredRussian dashboarddiplomat	The rusted out areas of your truck are sealed off with old tee-shirts or duck tapeYour know that checkoff is not a Russian diplomatYour family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the news
You pick up all the free stuff at the State FairYou'll skip your own cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season ( and you know he would approve and would do the same if you died )You can eat an ear of sweet corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds	You don't bother to cleanpick up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer, andall the dog knows to stay out of your wayYou know enough to get your driving done onfree Sundaysstuff beforeat the "Sunday drivers" comeState outFair
It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town	You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feedlot
The meaning of true love is that you'll ridepose infor thea tractorpicture with both him and his favorite tractor	The meaning of true love is that you'll poseride forin athe picturetractor with both him and his favorite tractor
You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-MartYour husband drives a friend home from the bar when he only lives 3 houses away	You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit
You know cow pies aren't made of beef	Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got outYou know cow pies aren't made of beef
Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, and pigs	You consider a romantic evening driving through Hardees and renting a hunting instructional videoYou listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon and never get tired of him saying, "Gooooood day"
You can tell it's a farmer working late in the field, know who it is, what they're doing, and not think it's a UFO	You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon and never get tired of him saying, "Gooooood day"
Your nearest neighbor is in the next section, and you know what a section is	You actually understand the geographical neccesity of correction linesYour other vehicle is a tractor
When you were little, you "beat-up" another kid on school bus arguing over the color of tractorsYou have enough	Your ballother capsvehicle tois matcha everytractor

You shirtknow youenough own,to butget youyour onlydriving weardone oneon soSundays youbefore don'tthe get"Sunday thedrivers" otherscome dirtyout

Iff you were given $1,000,000.00 you would keep right on farming. You'd farm differently, but you'd keep farming because that is who and what you are























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