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By love, of course, I refer to romantic love—the love between man and woman, rather that between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone you love.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she saidNo.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.