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May 26 2009, 7:50 PM EDT
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Change: very little on office supplies.Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone. Somebody so stupid he put wood on Woody Allen.
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(Word count: 780)
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Aug 11 2008, 7:51 PM EDT
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Change: Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.I have bad reflexes. I was once
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(Word count: 771)
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Aug 11 2008, 7:17 PM EDT
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Change: If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.Some guy
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(Word count: 705)
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Aug 11 2008, 7:16 PM EDT
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Change: Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.At the opera in Milan
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(Word count: 763)
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Aug 11 2008, 7:02 PM EDT
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Change: There were only format changes (bold, italics, etc.) in this version. See this version for details.
(Word count: 629)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:58 PM EDT
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Change: There were only format changes (bold, italics, etc.) in this version. See this version for details.
(Word count: 629)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:51 PM EDT
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Change: There were only format changes (bold, italics, etc.) in this version. See this version for details.
(Word count: 629)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:46 PM EDT
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Change: There were only format changes (bold, italics, etc.) in this version. See this version for details.
(Word count: 629)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:41 PM EDT
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Change: There were only format changes (bold, italics, etc.) in this version. See this version for details.
(Word count: 629)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:37 PM EDT
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Change: By love, of course, I refer to romantic love—the love between man and woman, rather that between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters. And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of
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(Word count: 629)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:35 PM EDT
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Change: If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.More Woody Allen JokesA man goes to a psychiatrist and says,
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(Word count: 684)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:34 PM EDT
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Change: Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. I recently turned sixty. Practically a third of my life is over. I sold the memoirs
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(Word count: 836)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:33 PM EDT
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Change: On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. If there is reincarnation, I'd
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Aug 11 2008, 6:28 PM EDT
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Change: At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time. Basically my wife
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(Word count: 1326)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:12 PM EDT
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Change: If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.More Woody Allen JokesA man goes to a psychiatrist and says,
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(Word count: 799)
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Aug 11 2008, 6:05 PM EDT
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Change: Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens. The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.It's not that I'm afraid to
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Aug 11 2008, 6:00 PM EDT
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Change: If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space
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(Word count: 603)
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Aug 11 2008, 5:57 PM EDT
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Change: looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.Two old ladies are in a restaurant. One complains, "You know, the food here is just terrible." The other shakes her head and adds, "And such small portions."
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Aug 11 2008, 5:54 PM EDT
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Change: A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken." The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "We would. But we need the eggs."
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(Word count: 39)
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Aug 11 2008, 5:53 PM EDT
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Change: Created by Aug 11 2008, 5:53 PM EDT for: no reason given
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