Random Facts penis sucka

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it!)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories for an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!)


PENIS

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling? And, why isn't the pig included in this list?)

On average people fear spiders more than they do death. (YEP !)

PeNiS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmm.....)

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 3 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did the gov 't pay for this research??)

Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew....? Who cares!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

PENIS

A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....")

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be a pig... quality over quantity!)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, jeez!)

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (Duh.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too!)








Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year's incoming freshmen. Here's the year 2000's list:

1. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1981.
2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and did not know he had ever been shot.
3. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
4. Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.
5. There has been only one Pope. They can only really remember one president.
6. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.
7. They have never feared a nuclear war. "The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie.
8. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up, and Tiananmen Square means nothing to them.
9. Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
10. They never had a Polio shot, and likely do not know what it is.
11. Bottle caps have not only always been screw off, but have always been plastic. They have no idea what a pull-top can looks like.
12. Atari pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums.
13. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.
14. They have never owned a record player.
15. They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.
16. Star Wars look very fake to them, and the special effects are pathetic.
17. There have always been red M&Ms, and blue ones are not new. What do you mean there used to be beige ones?
18. They may have heard of an 8-track, but chances are they probably never have actually seen or heard one.
19. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.
20. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.
21. They have always had an answering machine.
22. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black-and-white TV.
23. They have always had cable.
24. There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA is.
25. They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
26. They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
27. Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.
28. The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno.
29. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
30. Popcorn has always been cooked in a microwave.
31. They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a football player.
32. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
33. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII, or even the Civil War.
34. They have no idea Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.
35. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
36. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
37. They never heard the terms: "Where's the beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "de plane, de plane!"
38. They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.
39. The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was.
40. Michael Jackson has always been white.
41. Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.
42. McDonald's never came in styrofoam containers.
43. There has always been MTV






Statistics About Americans

* Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
* 21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
* Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
* 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
* 85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear.
* 67.5% of men wear tightie whities (briefs).
* The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B.
* 85% of women wear the wrong bra size.
* 3/4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
* 13% of us admit to occasionally doing our offspring's homework.
* 91% of us lie regularly.
* 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.
* 29% admit they've intentionally stolen something from a store.
* 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
* 90% believe in divine retribution.
* 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
* 82% believe in an afterlife.
* 45% believe in ghosts.
* 13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.
* 29% of us are virgins when we marry.
* 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.
* 10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.
* Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old.
* 35% give to charity at least once a month.
* How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends, family, and religion.
* 7% would murder.
* 69% eat the cake before the frosting.
* When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
* 85% of us will eat Spam this year.
* 70% of us drink orange juice daily.
* The most popular candy is Snickers.
* 22% of us skip lunch daily.
* 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
* 66% of us eat cereal regularly.
* 22% of all restaurant meals include French fries.
* 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.
* Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
* 45% use mouthwash every day.
* 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
* The typical shower is 101 degrees F.
* Nearly 1/3 of US women color their hair.
* 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
* 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
* 58% of women paint their nails regularly.
* 62% of us pop our zits.
* 33% of women lie about their weight. (Only 33%?)33%?liars)
* 10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.
* 57% have had deja vu.
* 49% believe in ESP.
* 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.
* The average girl starts her period at age 12.
* 44% have broken a bone.
* Only 30% of us know our cholesterol level.
* 14% have attended a self-help meeting.
* 15% regularly go to a shrink.
* 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.
* 46.5% of men say they always put the seat down after they've used the toilet, yet women claim to always find it up.
* 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
* 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
* 23.5% admit they don't always flush.
* 45.2% pee in the shower.
* 44.9% pee in the ocean.
* 28.1% pee in the pool.
* 55.2% will let someone else come in the bathroom while they're sitting the toilet.
* 39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet.
* 17% have been caught by the host.
* 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip his pants.
* 29% of us ignore RSVP.
* 71.6% of us eavesdrop.
* 22% are functionally illiterate.
* Less than 10% are trilingual.
* 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
* 53% prefer ATM machines to tellers.
* 56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
* 2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks.
* 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.
* 40% of us have had music lessons.
* 44% reuse tinfoil.
* 57% save pretty gift paper to reuse.
* 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch.
* 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
* 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men). . . (okay only men).
* 59% of us say we're average looking.
* Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful.beautiful(well we are).
* 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.
* 53% of us would take advice from Ann Landers.
* 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.
* 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
* On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
* 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.
* 2 out of 5 have married their first love.
* The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money.
* Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand.
* 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
* 6% propose over the phone.
* 71% can drive a stick-shift car.
* 45% of us consistently follow the speed limit.
* 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.
* 1/3 of us don't wear seat belts.
* 12% of men never use their car blinkers.
* 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.
* 25% of us drive after we've been drinking.
* 4 out of 5 sing in the car.




On the average day....

* 10,501 Americans are born.
* 5,937 Americans die.
* 4,637 illegal aliens are apprehended trying to cross the US border.
* 4,481 are Mexican.
* $412,104 is spent by the US border patrol, about $89 per alien apprehended.
* 39,109 pounds of marijuana are brought into the US.
* Of this, 3,911 pounds are seized by the DEA, about 10%.
* 2,239 pounds of cocaine are brought into the US.
* Of this, 224 pounds are seized by the DEA, about 10%.
* There are 290 drug-related emergency-room incidents; of these,
* 14 are caused by marijuana
* Aspirin causes 15
* Valium causes 23
* 58 are caused by alcohol in combination
* 10 result in death.
* 256 Americans die in accidents, of these,
* 133 die in motor-vehicle accidents
* 55 die from exposure to household radon gas
* 6 die in construction accidents
* 5 die in firearms accidents
* American children watch 3.5 hours of television; during which time they will see,
* 5 alcohol commercials
* 22 acts of violence
* 38 sexual references and innuendoes





If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

1. There would be: 57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 from the Western Hemisphere, and 8 Africans
2. 52 would be female, 48 would be male
3. 70 would be nonwhite, 30 would be white
4. 70 would be non-Christian, 30 would be Christian
5. 89 would be heterosexual, 11 would be homosexual
6. 6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States
7. 80 would live in substandard housing
8. 70 would be unable to read
9. 50 would suffer from malnutrition
10. 1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth
11. 1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
12. 1 would own a computer


Nothing has beaten the pig so far. . . lucky pig