Change: planted some birdseed. A bird campe up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I saw this guy hitchhiking with a sign that said "Heaven." So I hit him. Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 762)

Change: Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business. When I turned two I was really anxious because I'd doubled my age in a   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 730)

Change: EasyEdit to add your favorite Steven Stand Wrightup observations. Aristocrats Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.I intend to live   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 676)

Change: Stand up AristocratsI have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?I went to a   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 673)

Change:  to add to it.What's another word for Thesaurus?I put some instant coffee in a microwave and went back in time.It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 278)

Change: Click EasyEdit to add your favorite Steven Wright observations.Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He goes: "Not in a row!" I knew these   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 199)

Change:  said: "What do you need?'Okay, so what's the speed of dark?Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!What's another word for Thesaurus?I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.Click EasyEdit to add your favorite Steven Wright observations.   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 186)

Change: There were only format changes (bold, italics, etc.) in this version. See this version for details. (Word count: 143)

Change:  Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He goes: "Not in a row!" I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other one could drive.   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 129)