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Sexist Jokes About Men
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Q:What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for air and yelling your name?
A:You aren't holding the pillow long enough.
Q:Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A: Because God needs all the women He can get to do His dishes.
Q: Why do all men like smart women?
A: they're better at doing the dishes.
Q; Why did God create man before woman?
A:Because you have to make a rough copy to work out all the kinks.
Add your jokes poking at the female gender and let out some of that angst. Need inspiration? Read the female sexist jokes page, and you'll be rearing for payback.
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
What did God say when he created Adam?
I can do better than this.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
Why do men like love at first sight?
It's like same day delivery on your new dishwasher!
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush bolders. He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari apperared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said thank you.
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
A knife she got from the kitchen
How can you tell if a man is happy?
the women made the dishes clean!
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
When would you want a man's company?
When he owns it.
What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom,
and a Jackass to pay for it all
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A dog only takes a couple of months to train
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy
edit: erotic
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Miss her.
Pity her.
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
What's the one thing that keeps most men out of college?
tutoring women!
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
hard working!
edit: myth
Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?
It had a penis AND a brain!
- so true
Who are the happiest women in the world?
Lesbians.
Edit: they don't have to deal with a druling man
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FromMaddieWithLove |
Latest page update: made by FromMaddieWithLove
, Sunday, 8:45 PM EDT
(about this update
About This Update
Edited by FromMaddieWithLove
14 words added 83 words deleted view changes - complete history) |
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Keyword tags:
free jokes
funny jokes
gender jokes
male jokes
man jokes
sexist jokes
sexist jokes against men
short sexist jokes
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| womanrights=joke | hah | 3 | Mar 9 2010, 12:42 PM EST by WomansRights=Brain | ||
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Thread started: Nov 17 2009, 6:45 PM EST
Watch
""What's the fastest way to a man's heart?""
"""Through his chest with a sharp knife'" funny.... a knife you got from the kitchen |
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| devraj_2009 | age of women | 0 | Jan 28 2010, 12:09 PM EST by devraj_2009 | ||
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Thread started: Jan 28 2010, 12:09 PM EST
Watch
why don,t the sexy men care for the age of women?
they don,t want to axe their own feet . |
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| JesseTronier | haa | 1 | Jan 23 2010, 6:17 PM EST by anonymousssss | ||
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Thread started: Jan 7 2010, 8:54 PM EST
Watch
ha women what good are they for besides making us food and thinking the're smart.
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