She won't go away, and she just keeps getting funnier. Thank you, Sarah Palin. See also: Sarah Palin Pardons a Turkey SNL Presidential Bash Videos Sarah Palin Prank Call Jokes about the Election Sarah Palin SNL appearance SNL Bush Endorses McCain-Palin McCain Palin Soundtrack Daily Show Sarah Palin Clips Jokes about the Debates Sarah Palin Debate Training Leaked Sarah Palin's Debate Flowchart SNL Vice Presidential Debate Video SNL Palin Couric Interview SNL Palin/Clinton Spoof Caribou Barbie The McCain - Palin Soulmate Video Jon Stewart on Sarah Palin Jay Leno on Sarah Palin David Letterman on Sarah Palin Why David Letterman Likes Sarah Palin Jimmy Kimmel on Sarah Palin Conan O'Brien on Sarah Palin Bill Maher on Sarah Palin Polar Bears Against Palin Read the commentary on Sarah Palin by your favorite comedian:

Stephen Colbert on Sarah Palin

Last week, I wagged my finger at Newsweek magazine for not retouching this unflattering cover photo of Governor Sarah Palin which showed her facial hair. Hideous. With a horribly offensive characterization of the governor as a mammal. Well, it turns out people were listening. By which I mean People magazine. Yes, this week's People has an extreme close-up of Governor Palin, and there is not a hair in sight. She is like an eel. This is People's best re-touching work since they made Clay Aiken's makeup look like skin. Sarah Palin should look like this in every picture, like a brand-new, mint-condition porcelain doll. Because I think we can all agree it is best if Sarah Palin is never taken out of the packaging. Great work, People Photoshoppers.

I do have one complaint, though: look at the terrible job you did on Todd Palin. You left a huge mustache there. Come on! He looks like he just drank a cold, tall glass of pubes. Still, I gotta say that is one good-looking couple there. Look at that. It's hard to look at these guys without imagining, you know, 'Hey Todd, what do you think of my new $150,000 clothes?'
'I think they look even better on the floor.' [Colbert pushes the pages of the magazine together and makes kissing noises]
'Oh, Todd, you're the 'Snow Machine.'

All in all, this was a great first day for the convention, but, of course, the media did their best to try to ruin it by callously revealing a private matter in the Palin family, namely that Governor Sarah Palin's eldest daughter is named Bristol. Have you no shame, media? That's nobody's business. That is a private pain, meant to be kept between Bristol, and Track, and Willow, and Piper, and Trig Paxon, and let's say Snackchip and Toejam.

And I will tell you, nation, I am sick and tired of people saying Sarah Palin is inexperienced. It is sexism, pure and simple. Her enemies wouldn't be saying this if she was a man like Frank Matheny. Oh, you don't know Frank? He's the mayor of Boot Hill, Montana; population: 7,500. In about 20 months, he's going to make a great vice president. Now, critics say John McCain should have gone with someone who fills in his gaps, like Mitt Romney. But Sarah Palin does more than fill McCain's gaps, she completes him. [Related Video: McCain: 'She's a partner and a soul-mate']. The clincher was the identical oil-rig birthmarks.

The Threat Down: Who's nailin' Palin?	Stephen Colbert on Sarah Palin and Drilling in the Arctic:

Craig Ferguson on Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin. Remember Sarah Palin? She is adorable. She is back on the campaign trail. Really. She's going to campaign in the Senate runoff in Georgia. As soon as she finds out where Georgia is.

Anyway, the Democrats better watch out, because the Republicans are going to pull out all the stops. Did you see they spent $150,000 on Sarah Palin's wardrobe? Boy, nothing says hockey mom like dropping six figures on bling.

The big news story today is Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin's defense was that $150,000 doesn't go far when you're a female political candidate, and that's true. Last year, Hillary Clinton spent twice that much on suits at Men's Warehouse.

The campaign says they needed to make Sarah Palin seem hip and cool, but I'm thinking if you're going to spend money trying to make somebody look hip and cool, what about John? What about spending some money on John?

Every day, Sarah Palin. And it is not exactly hard-hitting stuff. I haven’t seen the media fawn over a celebrity this much since -- Barack Obama.

But the dirt is beginning to come out. Apparently, one of Sarah's first acts as Governor of Alaska was getting a tanning bed installed in the governor’s mansion. The Republican Party is okay with it, which is weird, because usually they ask themselves, 'How can we make our candidate more white?'

Did you see the Sarah Palin interview on ABC? This state trooper from Alaska says that Palin lied in the interview. She lied on national television. I’d say someone's ready for the White House!

Seth Meyers on Sarah Palin

Last week Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol gave birth to a boy named Tripp Easton Michel Johnston. Apparently they are hoping he will grow up to be a law firm.

It was reported that Sarah Palin is close to signing a book deal worth $7 million. The book could set a new record for most apostrophes [shows a cover of Palin's book, called 'Jus' Tellin' My Story']

While speaking at a campaign rally in western Pennsylvania, which is Pittsburgh Pirate territory, Sarah Palin was booed when she said that she was thrilled to be here, in the home state of the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies. Though, in fairness to Palin, she's not used to states with more than one city.

In an interview this weekend, Sarah Palin said that when the media criticizes her children 'the mama grizzly in me comes out, makes me want to rear up on my hind legs.' Which is exactly what a mama grizzly did to Sarah Palin moments before she shot it from a helicopter.

According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Governor Palin, when she leaves them home alone, they get pregnant.

Injured New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will be replaced by Matt Cassel, an untested, inexperienced backup, earning Cassel the nickname, Sarah Palin.

Amy Poehler on Sarah Palin

Former Vice President Dan Quayle has advised vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin to 'just be yourself.' Unfortunately, he spelled 'yourself' with three 'l's' and a '6.'

At a rally on Saturday, Sarah Palin attempted to recite a quote from Madeline Albright that she read off a Starbucks cup. She then summed up her views on energy by claiming, 'America Runs On Dunkin.'


A farmer in Ohio has carved a corn maze in his field in the likeness of Sarah Palin. The way it works? You you enter and suddenly realize you're way over your head.

This week, the presidential race continued to tighten up. In fact, according to the latest polls, John McCain is now only six points behind Sarah Palin.

The Washington Post reported this week that Sarah Palin billed taxpayers in Alaska for travel expenses for 312 nights she spent in her own home. You know, maverick style.

More Sarah Palin jokes