Born November 22, 1921, in New York; died October 5, 2004. Dangerfield is best known for the line, "I can't get no respect!"

I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.


I went to the psychiatrist, and he says, "You're crazy. " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, “Okay, you're ugly too!"


I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No. I hate myself now."

I saw a naked jogger running out of my house. I asked, "Why are you running?" He said, "You came home!"

Click EasyEdit to add your favorite Dangerfield jokes.I went to the doctor, and he says, "I got good news; I got bad news. The good news is, they're going to name a disease after you!"

Click EasyEdit to add your favorite Dangerfield jokes.