Go back to Jokes about the Election

Bill Maher on Prop. 8

And yet, with all these problems, somehow bigotry won out here, even in liberal California. We voted to outlaw gay marriage. ... But I have to stand with the gays on this. Gay people, I think, have every right to insist that they will not be happy until they're allowed to be miserable.

We found out that the Mormons are the ones that financed this thing against Prop 8. They spent $20 million on Prop 8, because they say that marriage should be between a man and his multiple child brides.

Craig Ferguson on Prop. 8

The governor of California is the actor and former body builder, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He announced that he opposes Proposition 8. Proposition 8 is the proposition in California that would ban gay marriage. ... Arnold also opposes Proposition 14, which would require all Governors of California to speak some English.

In California, the ban on gay marriage passed. Gay people are furious. They stormed the State Capitol in Sacramento and caused $3 million in improvements to the city.

Conan O'Brien on Prop. 8

A lot of issues going to be decided on election day in John McCain's home state of Arizona. True story. Voters are being asked to decide whether there should be a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Yeah. McCain's even using the issue in an attack ad that says 'Obama-Biden: they share positions together.'

Jay Leno on Prop. 8

And today, in Hollywood, some same-sex marriage supporters urged people to call in gay and not go to work to show how much our country relies on the gay and lesbian people in the workforce. Interesting idea, but it kind of backfired here in Hollywood. When they called in, there was nobody there to answer the phone.

So, how does that work? When you call in gay to take the day off, do you have to prove it? Do you have to have a note from another gay guy? Does the note have to be signed and notarized by another gay person to make sure?

And of course the big mantra was 'Yes, we can!' Unless you're a gay couple in California, then it's, 'No, you can't.'

Well, California passed a bill banning gay marriage, and San Francisco voters defeated a ballot proposition that would have decriminalized prostitution. So, it's a bad day for straight guys and gay guys.

A huge turnout in Hollywood. In fact, for the first time ever, there were more celebrities in voting booths than in rehab. That has never happened. They say this was most expensive election in history, costing over $1 billion. Do you realize that is the equivalent of three Wall Street CEO bonuses?

Stephen Colbert on Prop. 8

Tonight, California bans gay marriage. Next up: Iowa bans corn.

The Daily Show: Proposition 8
Daily Show: I Now Denounce You Chuck and Larry	Daily Show: Mike Huckabee Interview
Colbert Report: Proposition 8 Protests - Dan Savage	Colbert Report: Imaginary Gay/Black Warfare
Daily Show: Gary and Gary Unmarried	The Colbert Report: Gay-Black Violence