Oh, and listen to this. In her blog, Lindsay Lohan, this week, speaking out ... [and] has come out against Sarah Palin. Although most people are reserving judgment until they hear from Nicole Ritchie and Jessica Simpson. You know, I want to make an informed decision. I need all three points of view. (Jay Leno)

John McCain said again today that the fundamentals of our economy are still sound. The fundamentals of our economy are still sound. To which O.J. Simpson said, 'Hey, is it too late to get him on the jury?' (Jay Leno)

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a broom? A broom's good for something.

Don King pledged five hundred thousand dollars to relief charities. Somehow the charities now owe him six hundred thousand dollars. (Tina Fey)

Michael Jackson's baby said its first word: "Help!" (Jay Leno)