January 20th, 2009 Barack Obama was sworn in as 44th President of the United States. (and not a moment too soon!)

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Conan O'Brien on the Inauguration

What an historic day, ladies and gentlemen. The whole country was riveted by Barack Obama's inauguration. Two million people were in Washington to watch it, and then everyone else in the country watched it on TV. Yeah, I don't think America's been this excited since they figured out how to put cheese inside pizza crust.

This is a true story. Some people alongside Barack Obama's inaugural parade route got bored waiting for it to start. So, did you see this? They started doing the electric slide. Yeah, apparently, the best way to celebrate our first black president is to do the whitest dance imaginable.

All the living ex-presidents attended the swearing-in ceremony. But did you see this? Bill Clinton got the biggest response from the crowd. Did you see that? Yeah. Yeah, apparently, thousands of women yelled, 'That's him, officer!'

Very cold today in Washington. Yeah. In fact, with the wind chill, President Bush's approval rating reached minus 13.

Everybody was using superlatives today to talk about this historic day, all the broadcasters. During NBC's coverage, Brian Williams said that the inauguration is like the Super Bowl. Yeah. The only difference is that the New York Jets had a chance to go to the inauguration.

Now, people who went to elementary school with Barack Obama say that they remember him as a chubby boy named Barry. Yeah. And folks, even as we speak, those people's tax returns are being audited.

They're going nuts in Washington, though. The festivities have already begun. Yesterday, in Washington, Barack Obama was on hand -- did you see this? For performances by Jon Bon Jovi, Garth Brooks and John Mellencamp. Yeah. So, folks, it really is a new era for African-Americans. All the music they love.

You know, some people are really angry because the festivities for Barack Obama's inauguration, guess what? Are gonna cost $170 million. Yeah, after hearing about it, Oprah said, 'Don't worry. This one's on me.' She put down her Amex card made of plutonium.

Earlier tonight, this is nice, Barack Obama hosted a dinner honoring John McCain. You can tell the dinner was to honor John McCain, because it was over by 4:00 P.M.

Jay Leno on the Inauguration

And it was cold. It was so cold in Washington, it felt like Hillary's inauguration.

It was so cold, Al Gore led a prayer for global warming.

In fact, by the end of the inauguration, everybody's face looked like Nancy Pelosi.

And during the inauguration, Washington, D.C., set up prostitution-free zones. Areas where there is no prostitution? Isn't that supposed to be the whole city, huh? I mean, is Washington so corrupt now we just rope off the areas where people actually follow the law?

And Jill Biden, Vice President Joe Biden's wife, slipped on the Oprah Winfrey show when she said, 'Well, you know, Barack Obama actually offered Joe the vice presidency or Secretary of State.' She said she was glad that Joe Biden chose the vice presidency because he would be home with her more often. See, the Secretary of State is out of the country way too much, so Joe Biden went with the vice presidency. His decision led Bill Clinton to say to Joe, 'I owe you, man!’

Barack Obama is in the latest issue of the 'Spider-Man' comics. That's when you know you're big, when you're in 'Spider-Man' comics. The story is about how Spider-Man stops bad guys from ruining Barack's inauguration. And psychologists believe this comic book was actually very handy in helping President Bush understand the transition.
You know, it's really fascinating to watch this peaceful transfer of power. Because we're the envy of the world that we're able to do this. I only hope Conan and I can do it just as peacefully.

In fact, John McCain said he was so moved by today's events, he suspended his campaign again.

Vice President Cheney pulled a muscle in his back. Did you see him in the wheelchair today? You would think being in a wheelchair would make Cheney more sympathetic, but it made him look kind of evil, didn't it?

Well, did you all see Obama's speech? He said America is finally ready to lead again, to which Bush said: 'Hey, I'm sitting here! Hello! I'm still here!'

I thought Obama gave a great speech. But I think he may have promised too much, like when he promised to bring the dog from the 'Marley & Me' movie back to life. That seemed over the top to me.

Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts made a mistake during the swearing in of Barack Obama. That's the second mistake the Supreme Court has made with a president, if you count the time they declared Bush the winner.

Every single TV network was covering the inauguration, except Fox. They're still doing the recount.

Now, if you could not afford to go to the inauguration, there's a perfect way to recreate the experience at home. Here's what you do. You play back the tape of Barack and then you put the air conditioner on full blast, then stand in line for six hours waiting to use your own bathroom.

I think Barack Obama missed the perfect opportunity to balance the budget today. Did you see those thousands of port-a-potties? Make them pay toilets, we'd have a surplus by tomorrow.

And if you watch the news, you know a lot of celebrities in Washington for the inauguration. Isn't that unbelievable? So many celebrities are out of town, over in Malibu, they had to close the Promises Rehab Center for a week.

Good luck trying to find a place to stay. Given how hard it is to get a room in Washington, even Bill and Hillary had to double up.

And that was quite a pre-inaugural show they put on in Washington yesterday. Then Barack Obama got up and he told the crowd that 'anything is possible in America' except, of course, the Eagles being in the Super Bowl.

Craig Ferguson on the Inauguration

I have inauguration fever. 'Twas the night before the inauguration, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, as Dick Cheney tortured a mouse.

The whole country has inauguration fever -- at least 52 percent of the country. The other 48 percent are McCainiacs.

Hotels in Washington, D.C., are overbooked. A lot of VIPs have no place to stay. Things are so bad, Bill and Hillary Clinton have to share a room.

Jon Stewart on the Inauguration

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Stephen Colbert on the Inauguration

Stephen's Inauguration Breakdown	P.K. Winsome - Inauguration Merchandise