My dad was a very proud man but the one thing he wasn't proud of was my face! He used to say i was ugly. Funny though, our neighbours said i looked like my dad!

Failure is not when your girl friend leaves you; its when you leave her a virgin.

I come from a village so remote, the credit crunch has just hit!

I am so short, people say i'm down to earth, and so realistic!

I am so short, some fellow asked me whether I am standing in a pot hole.

I love Ugandan radio presenters, they are the only poeple that can say, "this song goes out to our esteemed viewers"

Gentelmen, you very well know ladies don't like it when you tell them to shut up. If you are compelled to tell her to shut up, bring it in form of a complement; tell her, "Baby, Butter Cookie, you look so beautiful when you say nothing at all!"


jokes by famous comedians