1. 
   
2. How do you make a goldfish age? Take out the "g"

What's the richest kind of air?
Billionaire.


What do skeletons say before a meal?
Bone appetite.

Why did the Skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with him.

What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.

Where do very smart hot dogs end up?
On honor rolls.

Why did the mother cat move her kittens?
She didn't want to litter.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.

What's at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.

What did the mountain climber name his son?
Cliff.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crumby.

Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Hot. Everyone can catch cold.

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.

Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?
Because he’s always spotted.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!

What did Zero say to Eight? Nice belt!

What has ten letters and starts with gas?
An automobile.

What did the bee say to the flower? Hi, honey.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
- contributed by George A.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie. The genie grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home -- and poof!, he is back home. The second guy wishes the same thing -- and poof!, he is gone too. The third guy says, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

What's the connection between Winnie the Pooh and Atilla the Hunn?
Same middle name!

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Interrupting Cow
Iinterrupting Cow Wh --
MOO

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, It's only a joke!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tarzan
Tarzan who?
'Tars and stripes forever.