Sign in or 
| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Feb 5 2009, 10:46 AM EST (current) | katia2525 | 27 words added |
| Feb 4 2009, 12:49 PM EST | katia2525 | 6 words added, 1 widget added |
Changes
Key: Additions Deletions
Click EasyEdit to add your favorite jokes, cartoons or videos about Republicans!Check out Jokes about some of our most hilarious Republicans:
See Also:
Jay Leno on the Republicans
David Letterman on the Republicans
Jokes about Democrats
Jimmy Kimmel on the Republicans
And the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, gave his annual State of the State address this morning. And while you might think that after five years in office, he has run out of cute references to his own movies. But he most certainly has not, because he made reference to Conan's sword in today's speech. All that's left is for him to tell the Board of Education about 'Kindergarten Cop,' right?
The real challenge, though, is for Joe Biden because he's got to figure out how to get Dick Cheney out of the vice presidential mansion. As you know, Dick Cheney is armed and has a history of shooting old men.
So far, more than 10,000 acres have been burned. Yesterday, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger ordered a state of emergency to be declared. Or he might have ordered a steak with burgundy and an eclair. It's hard to tell. It's times like these when we think twice about electing a former bodybuilder from the black forest. Last time we had a big fire - he tried to slather it with baby oil.
California is not an easy state to be Governor of, but here's how I see it, everyplace has something you have to worry about - Louisiana has hurricanes, Texas has tornadoes, here we have earthquakes, wildfires and Heather Locklear behind the wheel. You make do.
One of the big themes for convention speakers was that we need to elect a Republican that will go in and clean up the mess in Washington. I think that’s a great lesson for kids -- always clean up your own mess. The real challenge, though, is for Joe Biden because he's got to figure out how to get Dick Cheney out of the vice presidential mansion. As you know, Dick Cheney is armed and has a history of shooting old men.
So far, more than 10,000 acres have been burned. Yesterday, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger ordered a state of emergency to be declared. Or he might have ordered a steak with burgundy and an eclair. It's hard to tell. It's times like these when we think twice about electing a former bodybuilder from the black forest. Last time we had a big fire - he tried to slather it with baby oil.
California is not an easy state to be Governor of, but here's how I see it, everyplace has something you have to worry about - Louisiana has hurricanes, Texas has tornadoes, here we have earthquakes, wildfires and Heather Locklear behind the wheel. You make do.
Obviously, they're keeping the less popular Republicans out of the spotlight. President Bush gave a speech last night which couldn't have been more than five minutes long. Dick Cheney is in Azerbaijan, which I think is the farthest possible point from Minneapolis on the globe, and they actually locked Senator Larry Craig in the convention center men's room. Either that or he locked himself in, I'm not sure.
Bill Maher on the Republicans
Speaking of Alaskans who won't go away, you know who Ted Stevens is, right? He's the 84-year-old convicted felon and senator from Alaska who, even though he's a convicted felon, was running for office and basically tied the other guy. It looked like he was ahead, they're still contesting it. Now they say he's behind in the vote count. Whether he wins or not, he's going to prison. It's just way better to have your cellmate introduce you as 'my distinguished colleague,' as opposed to 'my bitch.'The Republicans, who had 3 candidates who proudly said they did not believe in Evolution...which became ironic when their campaigns quickly died off in favor of stronger, fitter campaigns.
Jon Stewart on the Republicans
So you feel like your party is the only one that can fix the damage your party has done? (Said to guest Mike Huckabee)
Elephant in the Room - Michael Steele | Reagraham Lincool |
Does That Get Me Fired? Lieberman and Stevens | Meet Your New Cellmate - Ted Stevens |
Bill Maher on the the Republicans
Thirty-eight million people watched Barack Obama at the stadium in Denver. There were 84,000 full-throated supporters who turned out there at the field. The Republicans fired back today. They say, 'We can also fill a stadium with thousands of screaming people. For example, the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina.'
Amy Poehler on the Republicans
The runoff in the Georgia Senate race was won this week by Saxby Chambliss, who is the incumbent Republican senator and not, as I believed, an obscure font.
Senator Larry Craig asked the court on Wednesday to void the guilty plea he made, following his arrest last year in a bathroom sex sting operation. Then, when the request was denied, he asked if he could use the bathroom.
Senator Larry Craig asked the court on Wednesday to void the guilty plea he made, following his arrest last year in a bathroom sex sting operation. Then, when the request was denied, he asked if he could use the bathroom.
Seth Meyers on the Republicans
Yesterday, the Republican National Committee selected Michael Steele, an African American, as their new party chairman. You guys know it doesn't work with just any black guy, right?Conan O'Brien on the Republicans
This weekend, the Republican National Committee elected their first-ever African-American chairman. His name is Michael Steele, or as he's known in the Republican Party, 'the black guy.'The Republican party is considering naming the first African-American chairman in their party's history. Isn't that incredible? That's big news. First African-American, yeah. Yeah, unfortunately, Republicans are having a hard time finding an African-American who's white.
The Republican Party is considering choosing an African-American to be their party’s chairman. Yeah. Unfortunately, neither guy wants the job.
The governor of California is the actor and former body builder, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He announced that he opposes Proposition 8. Proposition 8 is the proposition in California that would ban gay marriage. ... Arnold also opposes Proposition 14, which would require all Governors of California to speak some English.
Speaking of politics, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently said that in the 1970s, he smoked marijuana. Yeah. Apparently, Arnold got so stoned, you could understand every word he was saying.
Craig Ferguson on the Republicans
The new season of 'Lost' kicked off tonight. If you haven't seen it, 'Lost' is about a group of desperate people out of touch with the world. It's based on the true story of the Republican Party.The Pentagon is buying a portrait of Donald Rumsfeld for $46,000. But it will probably cost 10 times that, serve no real purpose, and never be finished. Remind you of anything?
This weekend, Karl Rove said John McCain's attack ads have gone too far. When Karl Rove says you've gone too far, that's like Mel Gibson saying you’ve had too much to drink.
Stephen Colbert on the Republicans
| The Word: Pity Party | The Word - Army of One |
Ted Stevens Is Found Guilty | The Colbert Report's The Word: It's Alive! |
