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Jay Leno on the Republicans
David Letterman on the Republicans
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Jimmy Kimmel on the Republicans

One of the big themes for convention speakers was that we need to elect a Republican that will go in and clean up the mess in Washington. I think that’s a great lesson for kids -- always clean up your own mess.

Obviously, they're keeping the less popular Republicans out of the spotlight. President Bush gave a speech last night which couldn't have been more than five minutes long. Dick Cheney is in Azerbaijan, which I think is the farthest possible point from Minneapolis on the globe, and they actually locked Senator Larry Craig in the convention center men's room. Either that or he locked himself in, I'm not sure.

Bill Maher on the Republicans

Speaking of Alaskans who won't go away, you know who Ted Stevens is, right? He's the 84-year-old convicted felon and senator from Alaska who, even though he's a convicted felon, was running for office and basically tied the other guy. It looked like he was ahead, they're still contesting it. Now they say he's behind in the vote count. Whether he wins or not, he's going to prison. It's just way better to have your cellmate introduce you as 'my distinguished colleague,' as opposed to 'my bitch.'

The Republicans, who had 3 candidates who proudly said they did not believe in Evolution...which became ironic when their campaigns quickly died off in favor of stronger, fitter campaigns.

Jon Stewart on the Republicans

Bill Maher on the the Republicans

Amy Poehler on the Republicans

Seth Meyers on the Republicans

Yesterday, the Republican National Committee selected Michael Steele, an African American, as their new party chairman. You guys know it doesn't work with just any black guy, right?

Conan O'Brien on the Republicans

This weekend, the Republican National Committee elected their first-ever African-American chairman. His name is Michael Steele, or as he's known in the Republican Party, 'the black guy.'

The Republican party is considering naming the first African-American chairman in their party's history. Isn't that incredible? That's big news. First African-American, yeah. Yeah, unfortunately, Republicans are having a hard time finding an African-American who's white.

The Republican Party is considering choosing an African-American to be their party’s chairman. Yeah. Unfortunately, neither guy wants the job.

The governor of California is the actor and former body builder, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He announced that he opposes Proposition 8. Proposition 8 is the proposition in California that would ban gay marriage. ... Arnold also opposes Proposition 14, which would require all Governors of California to speak some English.

Speaking of politics, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently said that in the 1970s, he smoked marijuana. Yeah. Apparently, Arnold got so stoned, you could understand every word he was saying.

Craig Ferguson on the Republicans

The new season of 'Lost' kicked off tonight. If you haven't seen it, 'Lost' is about a group of desperate people out of touch with the world. It's based on the true story of the Republican Party.

The Pentagon is buying a portrait of Donald Rumsfeld for $46,000. But it will probably cost 10 times that, serve no real purpose, and never be finished. Remind you of anything?

This weekend, Karl Rove said John McCain's attack ads have gone too far. When Karl Rove says you've gone too far, that's like Mel Gibson saying you’ve had too much to drink.

Stephen Colbert on the Republicans