John McCain Jokes by David Letterman - History Page

	Date/Time	Made By	Type	Scope
	Feb 4 2009, 12:00 PM EST	katia2525	edit	68 words added
Change: You've got to love a guy like John McCain, but stuff is not going his way. He had a huge Super Bowl party, but people started clapping. And every time they did, the lights would go on and off.Listen to what Barack Obama did View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2799)
	Jan 20 2009, 10:44 AM EST	katia2525	edit	30 words added
Change: Listen to what Barack Obama did today. He worked on the stimulus plan, had a classified intelligence briefing and met with Congressional leaders. Meanwhile, John McCain backed over his mailbox.Well, ladies and gentlemen, today is an historic day down View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2729)
	Jan 8 2009, 7:37 PM EST	katia2525	edit	59 words added
Change: Well, ladies and gentlemen, today is an historic day down in Washington because five living presidents had lunch together. George Herbert Walker Bush, George W. View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2699)
	Dec 29 2008, 7:12 PM EST	katia2525	edit	16 words added
Change: Today is the second day of Hanukkah. John McCain made an appearance with Joe the Rabbi. By the way, you know who is on the program tonight? Senator John McCain. Now he shows up. By the way, he thinks the campaign is still going on. But we're View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2639)
	Dec 15 2008, 12:31 PM EST	katia2525	edit	56 words added
Change: By the way, you know who is on the program tonight? Senator John McCain. Now he shows up. By the way, he thinks the campaign is still going on. But we're happy to have the Senator on the program. View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2623)
	Dec 1 2008, 11:55 PM EST	katia2525	edit	71 words added 3 words deleted
Change: : John McCain Approves \| John McCain on Saturday Night Live \| SNL Presidential Bash Videos \| Jokes about the Election \| SNL Bush Endorses McCain - Palin \| Jokes about the Debates \| John McCain the Comedian \| McCain Palin Soundtrack \| Bill Maher on John McCain John View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2564)
	Dec 1 2008, 11:52 PM EST	katia2525	edit
Change: There were only format changes (bold, italics, etc.) in this version. See this version for details. (Word count: 2509)
	Nov 21 2008, 6:32 PM EST	katia2525	edit	31 words added
Change: John McCain announced today that he is beginning his 2010 senatorial campaign. And I'm thinking, wow! Two more years of a John McCain campaign, hey, cut me a slice of that! John McCain and Barack Obama met yesterday. You know, they're View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2509)
	Nov 19 2008, 4:07 PM EST	katia2525	edit	37 words added
Change: John McCain and Barack Obama met yesterday. You know, they're going to bury the hatchet. In politics, they call that reaching across the aisle. Usually when John McCain reaches across the aisle, it's to grab the Metamucil. President-elect Barack Obama now, while he View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2477)
	Nov 18 2008, 2:54 PM EST	katia2525	edit	33 words added
Change: President-elect Barack Obama now, while he is the president, he can't use ... his Blackberry. Fortunately, the good news for John McCain, he can continue to use the Clapper. That's not a problem. How about that Sarah Palin? She could be View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2438)
	Nov 14 2008, 5:52 PM EST	katia2525	edit	36 words added 1 image added
Change: How about that Sarah Palin? She could be appearing on 'Desperate Housewives,' and when John McCain heard about this, he went to his staff and he said, “I would kind of like to be on 'Bonanza.' This is an exciting time in Washington. View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2403)
	Nov 13 2008, 6:38 PM EST	katia2525	edit	33 words added
Change: This is an exciting time in Washington. Barack Obama is very busy. He is meeting with his advisors and picking out a cabinet. Meanwhile, John McCain is at Applebee's, blowing on his soup.Egyptian archaeologists have discovered a 4300-year-old pyramid. And I’m View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2367)
	Nov 13 2008, 6:37 PM EST	katia2525	edit	18 words added
Change: Egyptian archaeologists have discovered a 4300-year-old pyramid. And I’m thinking, there’s yet another house John McCain forgot about.Today is Veterans' Day, and John McCain laid a wreath at the tomb of the unknown plumber.Meanwhile, John McCain, don't forget about John McCain. View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2333)
	Nov 12 2008, 8:35 PM EST	katia2525	edit	17 words added
Change: Today is Veterans' Day, and John McCain laid a wreath at the tomb of the unknown plumber.Meanwhile, John McCain, don't forget about John McCain. While all of this was going on, John McCain was waiting for his name to be called at IHOP.I feel bad View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2311)
	Nov 11 2008, 6:37 PM EST	katia2525	edit	27 words added
Change: Meanwhile, John McCain, don't forget about John McCain. While all of this was going on, John McCain was waiting for his name to be called at IHOP.I feel bad for John McCain. I guess that endorsement from Dick Cheney came a little too late. You know, View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2294)
	Nov 10 2008, 7:56 PM EST	katia2525	edit	18 words added
Change: I feel bad for John McCain. I guess that endorsement from Dick Cheney came a little too late. You know, Obama won, but they still haven't broke the news to McCain. Obama is planning a bipartisan cabinet. And meanwhile, McCain is taking bicarbonate from the cabinet. And this View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2266)
	Nov 10 2008, 7:56 PM EST	katia2525	edit	70 words added
Change: And this is sad, you hate hearing about this, but staffers are saying that John McCain is depressed. And I think there is something true to the story, because I heard today that he had made an appointment with Joe the therapist. But Obama is busy View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2248)
	Nov 7 2008, 3:54 PM EST	katia2525	edit	47 words added
Change: But Obama is busy putting together his presidential cabinet. McCain, John McCain, Senator McCain is putting together his medicine cabinet. Maalox, Metamucil, Polydent, on and on. Right about now, John McCain is at home, saying, if only I didn't anger Dave, if only I didn't anger Dave. Did View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2177)
	Nov 6 2008, 7:59 PM EST	katia2525	edit	115 words added
Change: Did you see the concession speech last night? John McCain was generous. He was gracious. He was statesman-like. And I was thinking well, he should have tried that earlier. By the way, his concession speech last night was so View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2128)
	Nov 2 2008, 6:16 PM EST	katia2525	edit	113 words added
Change: And have you seen Sarah Palin and John McCain. I mean if you look at them, it’s kind of interesting. He looks like the elderly husband who would have her followed by a private detective. A little bit, don’t you think?But here's what I like View changes from previous version. (Word count: 2008)