More Jokes about the Republicans | More Jokes by Jay Leno


And former Maryland Lieutenant Governor Michael Steele has become the first African-American Republican National Committee chairman ever. Black Republicans said they were thrilled. Both of them.

Just a couple of hours ago, the Republican Party elected Michael Steele as the first African-American chairman of the GOP. That shows you, the Republican Party isn't just for stuffy, old white guys anymore. There's plenty of room for stuffy, old black guys, too.

And former secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, is readjusting to life as a private citizen. God, you think after eight years of tense talks with hostile tyrants, she would have had enough, but no, today, she was on 'The View.'

I tell you, it's cold all over the East Coast. And did you see those blizzards all over the place? The whole country was so white the Republicans thought they were back in charge again.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said in an interview on '60 Minutes' on Sunday that, if the Constitution allowed it, he would like to run for president. Yeah. Yeah. There's a switch, a Republican being stopped by the Constitution, when does that ever happen?

Hey, bad news for Senator Larry Craig. You know, America's favorite restroom enthusiast? You know Larry Craig. The court has refused his request to change his guilty plea. Remember, he was charged with soliciting sex from an undercover police officer in an airport men's room. He wanted the plea changed from 'guilty' to just 'jiggling the wrong handle.'

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said in a recent interview that Republicans 'cannot be the old, white guy party.' That's what he said. I believe he made this statement at a national shuffleboard convention in Boca Raton, Florida.

In an editorial this week, Mitt Romney said we should let Detroit go bankrupt. He feels the car industry is not worth bailing out. The only industries that Romney would bail out? The tanning booth industry, tooth polishing industry and hair dye industry. Everything else can pretty much go to hell.

And the longest-serving Republican senator, Ted Stevens of Alaska, was just convicted of seven felonies. He's on his way to jail, lost his Senate race in a squeaker, a squeaker. Which, ironically, is what they call the new guy in prison.

Happy birthday, convicted Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska, 85 years old. He didn't get any gifts. At least, he didn't report any.
Actually, the members of Blacks Against Obama, pretty serious group. Although not nearly as militant as Bathroom Attendants Against Larry Craig. Republican strategist Karl Rove recently gave an interview, and he said John McCain's attack ads go too far and aren't truthful. Then Rove said, 'I've never been so proud. That kid's good.'

And yesterday, Senator Larry Craig, you all remember Larry Craig, America's favorite restroom enthusiast. Well, he, somehow, he got a Minnesota court to hear an appeal of his case involving soliciting gay sex in an airport men's room. Unfortunately, the court recessed for a ten-minute bathroom break, and he got arrested again.

No, Larry Craig's lawyer yesterday told a three-judge panel in Minnesota that the foot tapping in a men's room must be protected under the first amendment right to free speech. Boy, the Republicans using the Constitution? When was the last time you saw that happen?

No, that's what the lawyer said. The lawyer said, 'foot tapping in the men's room was a form of protected expression, like dancing.' Like dancing? Shut up! This guy is lord of the toilet dance now, apparently.

Well, here's a great scandal. Federal investigators say that members of the Bush administration who were in charge of overseeing billions of dollars in oil royalties received gifts and had illicit sex with oil company employees. They actually had sex with the oil company employees. You know, when the Republicans said, 'drill everywhere,' I had no idea.

Well, it's a very strange political campaign. I mean, out on the campaign trail, John McCain and Sarah Palin are talking about how they stood up to the Republican party. They fought the Republican establishment. And they battled Republicans. Their message: vote Republican.

Well, now McCain is demanding an apology. Do you believe that? Two senators arguing over lipstick, and neither one of them is Larry Craig.

I don't know if you noticed this, but at the GOP convention, the cameramen are desperately trying to find minorities in the audience they could zoom in on, 'cause this is what they do. Finally, after an hour, they found one. It was a Presbyterian standing in a group of Methodists.

Well the Beach Boys kicked off the Republican Convention last night in Minnesota. Only the Republicans would have someone sing about big waves and surfing during a hurricane. What, were 'Katrina and the Waves' not available over the weekend?