Version User Scope of changes
Oct 7 2008, 7:26 PM EDT katia2525 657 words added, 1 photo added
Oct 7 2008, 7:24 PM EDT katia2525

Changes

Key:  Additions   Deletions
More Debate Jokes |
More Jokes by Jay Leno


Jay Leno Jokes Hey, did you all watch the vice presidential debate last night? Yeah, there was nothing embarrassing from either candidate. Damn! No, political analysts say it was a strong debate by both candidates and there were no losers, okay, other than gay people who want to get married.

Sarah Palin seemed genuinely happy to be there. She said she was privileged. And it was a thrill for Joe Biden too. I mean, he got to talk directly to the American people on television, just the way FDR did when the stock market crashed in 1929.

And, of course, both sides are spinning it, you know. The Republicans say, 'Oh, Joe Biden got beaten by a girl.' And Democrats are crying elder abuse. Yeah, I guess it's all pretty fair.

Sarah Palin kept winking at the camera. See that? She kept winking all the time. For a minute, I thought maybe John McCain had been captured again and she was trying it to send some kind of a signal.

They determined who got the first question by a coin toss, to which Sarah Palin said, 'Oh, what a coincidence, that's how I got picked.'

Of course, the most controversial thing Sarah Palin said last night was she felt the vice president should have more power. More power? Dick Cheney is shooting people in the face and doesn't even get arrested. You cannot get any more powerful than that.

John McCain said he watched the debate from his living room at his home in Arizona. He said he would have applauded Sarah Palin, but every time he clapped at home, the lights go on and off.

Earlier tonight, they held the vice presidential debate. I understand that Sarah Palin has been preparing all week at John McCain's ranch in Arizona. She said looking out at the desert gave her a real feel for the Middle East.

The vice presidential debate is tomorrow night. Joe Biden already gearing up. I understand he went to the hair salon, told the guy to put a little more on top just to get ready.

Sarah Palin, she's getting ready for tomorrow's debate, too. I understand she now knows all three branches of government.

I love the way the moderator, Jim Lehrer, tried to get both candidates to talk to each other. What are we in couples-counseling now? Tell him how that made you feel.

Sarah Palin actually watched the debates very closely. Actually she watched with one eye the debate and the other eye across on Russia, because you never know.

A lot of Republicans are worried about how Sarah Palin's gonna do in the vice-presidential debate this Thursday. See you know what she should do if she was smart? This what I would do if I were Sarah Palin. This is what I would tell her. Let Joe Biden have the first question, he'll take 90 minutes to answer, oh, we're out of time! Who could have seen that coming?

Did you all watch the presidential debate Friday night? You know, a lot of analysts were calling it a tie; they say neither man stumbled. That's how low the bar is now. Apparently not stumbling is considered a huge accomplishment in politics. He didn't stumble, fantastic!

Tonight was the big debate between John McCain and Barack Obama. They billed it had as the crowd pleaser versus the old geezer. Kind of a tough one to do.

And you know, John McCain wants to suspend his debate with Barack Obama until the economic crisis is over. And Sarah Palin now wants to suspend her debate with Joe Biden until she can find Europe on a map. So we'll see what happens there.

John McCain wants to postpone Friday night's presidential debate. And he has temporarily suspended his campaign. Yeah, so, apparently, this news about Clay Aiken being gay has affected him more than anybody thought.