And my favorite politician -- Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich -- was on the 'Today' show yesterday. And he compared himself to Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and Gandhi. Really? You see his hair? I think he's more like Skippy from 'Family Ties.'

There's now growing proof that some of the relief money that was supposed to help victims of the huge earthquake in China was actually siphoned off by corrupt officials. In fact, one corrupt official, Chang Blagojevich, was arrested today.

Huge, huge winter storm in some parts of the country. In fact, it was so cold in Chicago, they froze out Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

Our studio audience might not know this, but a couple hours ago, Gov. Blagojevich was convicted and removed from office by a vote of 59-0. So close! So that's one corrupt politician down, 126,388 to go.

But it's not over, because Blagojevich could still go to jail. In fact, he'll be the first Illinois governor to go to jail since the last one, and the one before that, then there were a couple more.

Oh, boy, the Illinois senators were mad -- 59-0. Not only was he Blagojevich convicted, his hairdresser was given the death penalty.

So now, the lieutenant governor of Illinois will move up and he'll be sworn in. And Blagojevich still doesn't get it. Like when he heard the lieutenant governor was going to get his seat, he said, 'You mean for free?'

And Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's impeachment trial got under way today. But he was not there. He didn't go. He went on 'The View' instead, which is a pretty smart move, because it will help his case when he pleads insanity.

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, his impeachment trial is scheduled to begin on Monday. You know, so, it looks like Illinois is going to break even. They have one politician sitting in the White House, the other one sitting in the big house. It's a wash, pretty much.

The mayor of Baltimore, a woman named Sheila Dixon, has now been charged with 12 counts of felony theft, perjury, fraud and misconduct in office. The good news? She's now eligible to become either mayor of Detroit or governor of Illinois. So congratulations to her.

As you know, the Illinois House voted to impeach Rod Blah-son-of-a-bitch? I get his name wrong. Blagojevich. I'm sorry! I'm sorry. They voted 114-1. Yeah. Shows you how cocky this guy is, he's now asking for a recount. Yeah. Says he could beat it on the recount.

Well, let's see what's going on. Unemployment is up again, especially if you're the new senator from Illinois trying to go to work.

Well, today on Capitol Hill, Roland Burris, who is Illinois Governor Rod Bla-son-of-a-bitch, is that his name? Blagojevich, Blagojevich. He's the guy appointed to fill Barack Obama's seat. He was turned away and denied his seat in the Senate. Yeah, it's the worst thing that happened to a guy named Burris not involving a gun and a pair of sweatpants.

And the sad thing is, this Burris guy is kind of caught in the middle of this whole thing. Because legal analysts say in appointing the senator, Blagojevich may have actually acted legally. He may have acted legally. God, there's a first time for everything, huh?

I love this part. He was turned away because they said he didn't meet the high standards of the Senate. Gee. I wonder which senator turned him down. Do you think it was the one who embezzled the money? Maybe it was the one that got caught with the hooker? I know, I'll bet it was the one caught fornicating near the urinal in the airport bathroom. That was the one, exactly.

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich says he will not fill Barack Obama's seat any time soon. He says he's going to wait until next summer when prices improve.

It was so cold in Chicago, Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was trying to sell Senate seat warmers.

The economy is in bad shape. I went shopping over the weekend. I got an Illinois Senate seat for $149. Amazing, marked down from half a million.

Well, the latest talk is that Caroline Kennedy wants to be appointed to Hillary Clinton's Senate seat. She wants Hillary Clinton's Senate seat. In fact, today, Caroline Kennedy got a call from Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich saying, 'How much you willing to pay for it?'

In an unprecedented move, the Illinois Attorney General has asked the High Court to strip Governor Bla-son-of-a-bitch -- is that his name? I can never get it right -- of his powers and declare him unfit. See, that would never happen here in California. See, they would declare our governor too fit.

And at a press conference this week, Jesse Jackson Jr., who is Candidate Number 5 for the Senate seat, strongly denied that he did anything wrong or improper. But now people are saying his brother might be involved. They say Jesse Jackson Jr. could be punished politically for what his brother did, to which Jeb Bush said, 'Tell me about it!'

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger says the budget crisis in California is only getting worse. He said it is so bad, we may have to start selling Senate seats here.

This is what politicians do whenever they get in trouble. Early this morning, embattled Illinois Governor Rod Bla-son-of-a-bitch -- is that his name? -- I keep saying it wrong. ... Well, they always do this. He invited several ministers into his home this morning. Well, first, he prayed with them. And then, you know, out of force of habit, he tried to take up a collection.

Time magazine reports that Governor Blagojevich has an approval rating 4%. That's with a margin of error of 5%. That means he could actually disapprove of himself.

Sources say that Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. is Senate Candidate Number Five, whose emissary allegedly told Governor Blagojevich that, in return for Jesse being appointed as Barack Obama's replacement to the U.S. Senate, the governor would receive as much as $1 million. Now, if this turns out to be true, this could be the worst setback for the Jackson family since the invention of DNA paternity tests.

Hey, you probably saw this on the news. A very embarrassing moment at the Illinois State Capitol today. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich attended the opening of the nativity scene. And when the three wise men showed up with gifts for the baby Jesus, Blagojevich demanded half the loot.

Yesterday was Governor -- is it Blagojevich or Bla-son-of-a-bitch? -- it was his birthday. You know what sign Blagojevich was born under? 'For sale.' I believe that was the sign.

Actually, it's getting pretty serious. President-elect Barack Obama has called for Blagojevich to resign, but he refused. He refused a directive from the next President of the United States, to which Hillary Clinton said, 'So?'

And of course, the bad news for Governor Blagojevich is that there's no chance President Bush will pardon him because Bush can't even pronounce his name.

People close to the case talked about Blagojevich. They said that he was willing to do anything for money. That's why he was going to sell the Senate seat. See, that is so wrong. You know, in this country -- let me tell you something. If you want money, you do what everybody else does, okay? You go to Congress and you demand a bailout. That's what we do.

How many people in our studio audience got your seats tonight because you paid off Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich?

Illinois Governor Rod Bla-son-of-a-bitch, is that how you say his name? Is it Bla-son-of-a-bitch? I think I'm saying that right. He was arrested for conspiring to sell the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama. ... Let me tell you something. You know, you don't buy a Senate seat in this country. You take up donations. You go out. You lie to the American people. You make promises you are never going to keep. That's how you get to be a United States Senator.

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is now in federal custody on corruption charges. The governor, they say he conspired to sell the U.S. Senate seat held by Barack Obama. Remember he left it vacant? He was trying to sell it to the highest bidder. Yeah, now, I don't want to say he was brazen about it, but he did it on eBay.

He's facing jail time, which will be a switch. In federal prison, he'll be going to the highest bidder. See, it's totally different now.