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George W. Bush Shoe Incident
Jokes about the Economy
Jokes about the Election
Jokes about Republicans
Jokes about Democrats
Jokes about Barack Obama
Jokes about George W. Bush
Political Jokes


Bush, Germany and China in the News

Jay Leno on International News

And it's not just here in America. Queen Elizabeth has announced that the economy is so bad in England, she is asking all members of the royal family to reduce their spending, otherwise, they would face the ultimate disaster, you know, having to get a real job.

Been a lot of stories from Germany about how America has come to terms with its past and is beginning to make up for it. Now look. I know our country is not perfect, but we do a pretty good job working out our problems. Do we need a lecture from Germany? When they elect a Jewish chancellor, give me a call. Okay?

Well, in international news, the man considered to be the leader of the Taliban inside of Pakistan, has died of kidney failure. See, that's when you know the war on terrorism has gone on for too long. When our enemies are dying of natural causes.

And the Iranian president, Mahmoud I'm-a-nut-job -- isn't that his name? Am I saying it right? I think I'm saying it right -- has offered to debate John McCain and Barack Obama when he's in New York next week. To which Ralph Nader said, 'What? You can challenge them to a debate?'

Hey, no sign of the North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il. A lot of speculation. Nobody's seen him. They say if he is not in the public eye for at least six months, you know what happens? He winds up on 'Dancing with the Stars.'

In international news, 60% of the people in the country of Jordan say they find Americans to be rude. Actually, that's not so bad, when you consider 60% of people in other Middle Eastern countries think we're Satan. ...We're moving up!

David Letterman on International News

Five years ago tomorrow, I believe, you know what it was? We have an anniversary. They captured Saddam Hussein. Captured Saddam Hussein. Yeah. You know who gets a really big kick out of that? ... Bin Laden. He just thinks that's the funniest thing.

Listen to this, a guy in North Carolina, a mailman, a Federal employee, a postal worker, was arrested and put in jail. You know why? He would deliver regular mail, but he wouldn't deliver junk mail. They got the guy, they arrested him, and they put him in prison. We got that guy, but still no word on bin Laden.

Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is apparently ill, rumored to be ill. And he's in the hospital today. And his condition has been downgraded from serious to ugly.

But they say Ahmadinejad is exhausted from overwork. And you know, thank God that will never happen to George Bush.

You know who else is in town at the U.N.? Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and I believe this is his first visit to New York City since his 1970s affair with Barbara Walters.

I would like to say a couple of words about Ahmadinejad, those words being short and ugly.

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also spoke at the U.N. earlier today. Do you know anything about Ahmadinejad? He is so humorless. I mean, just completely nothing. Absolutely void of humor. So they've asked him to host next year's Emmys.

Did you know that? Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. This is a guy who hates Jews and gays. Boy, is he in the wrong town. Good luck.

Conan O'Brien on International News

Latest rumor in Washington is that President-elect Barack Obama may open up trade with Cuba. This is great news for anyone looking to buy a black-and-white television.

Today, the United Nations approved a resolution to lift the sanctions against Iraq. ... Yeah, the move will allow Iraqis to buy things they don't have, such as medicine and weapons of mass destruction.

Indecision Oh-Eh?	Provinces in Peril
International Male	Mumbai Tragedy
Mess O'Potamia - Iraq Surrenders	The Buccaneer Stops Here - Somali Pirates

Stephen Colbert on International News

War in Afghanistan	Pakistani Threat - Bob Graham