Born November 3, 1953, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

I had a cab driver in Paris. The man smelled like a guy eating cheese while getting a permanent inside the septic tank of a slaughterhouse.

I worked some gigs in the Deep South ... Alabama ...You talk about Darwin's waiting room. There are guys in Alabama who are their own father.

A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

The average American’s day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles’s dart board.
Born again Christians... I'm a little indignant when they tell me I'm going to hell if I haven't been born again. Pardon me for getting it right the first time.

“The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.”

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