Change: Rod Blagojevich One percent of Americans participating in this poll believe believe Dick Cheney is the best Vice President ever. Everybody else in the poll believes that that one percent should be wearing funny hats. You folks around the country probably know this,   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 574)

Change: You folks around the country probably know this, but here in New York City it's freezing cold. It's so cold today that that Bernie Madoff is actually looking forward to burning in hell. Let me just say a word about these   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 539)

Change:  And down in Washington, D.C., the Capitol Hill Christmas tree arrived. And there is no surprise here. You know, they've got to decorate the tree. So the contract to decorate the tree, a $10 billion ornament contract, went to Halliburton. Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 471)

Change: The Election Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is apparently ill, rumored to be ill. And he's in the hospital today. And his condition has been downgraded from serious to ugly. But they say Ahmadinejad is exhausted from overwork. And you know, thank God that will never happen to George Bush.Today's   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 399)

Change: Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is apparently ill, rumored to be ill. And he's in the hospital today. And his condition has been downgraded from serious to ugly. But they say Ahmadinejad is exhausted from overwork. And you know, thank God that will never happen to George Bush.Today's Columbus   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 409)

Change: Today's Columbus Day, the day we celebrate Christopher Columbus discovering America, or as it is now known, "a fixer-upper." You know who else is in town at the U.N.? Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and I   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 358)

Change:  You know who else is in town at the U.N.? Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and I believe this is his first visit to New York City since his 1970s affair with Barbara Walters. I would like to say a couple of words about Ahmadinejad, those words being short and ugly.   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 335)

Change: And how about Matt Damon? ... Yeah, Matt Damon says he believes that Sarah Palin would be a disaster in the White House. That's what Matt Damon says. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I think I'll wait to hear what Ben Affleck has to say.Are you   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 218)

Change: There were only format changes (bold, italics, etc.) in this version. See this version for details. (Word count: 124)

Change: George W. Bush The theme of the Democratic Convention is unity. Unfortunately they can't agree on how that works. Yeah, the Democratic Convention is in Denver, and security is tight out there, it is very tight, it's tighter than Nancy Pelosi's face. New York now leads   View changes from previous version. (Word count: 124)