Conan O'Brien on the DebatesThis is a featured page

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Conan O'Brien Jokes
Earlier this evening, the third presidential debate was held. And this is interesting, Hillary Clinton was sitting in the audience. Did you know that? Yeah. Yeah, in fact, when John McCain was attacking Barack Obama, you could hear Hillary yelling, 'Get him!'

A poll came out today. 67% of Americans say they've seen enough and they don't want any more presidential debates. That's what they're saying. 67%. Yeah, the other 33% are plumbers who want to hear their name on television.

Of course, everyone's talking about Joe the plumber now. John McCain mentioned Joe the plumber last night 21 times. Yeah, experts are already comparing it to the 2004 debate, when President Bush wouldn't shut up about Larry the Cable Guy. 65 mentions.

And more details coming out about Joe the plumber. This is true. I'm not making this up. It came out this morning. His real name is not Joe, and he's not a licensed plumber. That's true. However, the McCain campaign insists that the 'the' is accurate. That part's true.

During last night's debate, Hillary Clinton watched from the audience of Hofstra University's auditorium. She was sitting there, yeah. Yeah, and Bill Clinton was also at Hofstra University, but he watched from the Delta Gamma sorority house.

During last night's debate, John McCain sparked a bit of a controversy when he referred to Barack Obama as 'That One.' Yeah, afterwards, McCain said, "What? Like I'm supposed to remember everybody's name now?

Well, because of all the international focus on the election, last night's debate was broadcast in foreign countries all across Europe, Asia, and South America, or, as Sarah Palin calls them, Russia.

The second presidential debate is tonight. And beforehand, I don't know if you heard this, John McCain said, 'The gloves are coming off.' That's what he said, yeah. Yeah, then McCain said, 'but don't worry, the diaper is staying on.'

Now, interesting, some of the questions for tonight's debate were submitted by people on the internet. Yeah, people on the internet could submit questions. Yeah, and when faced with the internet questions, John McCain said he refuses to engage with wizards or warlocks. None of that crazy internet magic for him.

Last night's vice presidential debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin drew much higher ratings than the presidential debate. Did you know that? Yeah. Yeah, Biden attracted viewers who enjoyed his previous debate appearances, and Palin attracted viewers who enjoyed the movie 'Fargo.'

Political experts say that one mistake by Sarah Palin tonight could be crushing to John McCain's campaign. However, they say 20 or 30 mistakes by Palin could be really funny.

Political experts are saying that to succeed in the vice presidential debate, Sarah Palin needs to show that she has the same concerns as everyday Americans. For instance, Palin planned to start the debate by saying she's really troubled by John McCain's choice for vice president.

Of course, the first presidential debate was held on Friday. Many observers are split on who won. Some say Barack Obama won by showing he could hold his own. Others say that John McCain won by showing he could hold his bladder.

During tonight's debate, sources from Barack Obama's campaign say Obama is going to try to get John McCain to lose his temper. That's true. Obama is going to do this by claiming that the movie 'Cocoon' was overrated.

John McCain said he wouldn't attend tonight's presidential debate unless Congress reached a bailout deal. Then McCain reversed his position and decided to take part anyway. That's what happened. McCain says he may drop out again, depending on what the first question is. He's going to play it by ear.

Now, of course, you've all heard this. The presidential debate still in question. That's right. Because of the financial crisis, John McCain says he may not appear at the presidential debate on Friday. So Ralph Nader has offered to fill in for him. However, Nader is insisting that McCain work his shift at Kinkos.

Today, John McCain made a big announcement. He said he wants to postpone Friday’s presidential debate, but not because of the economic crisis. It turns out TV Land is airing a 'Golden Girls' marathon.


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