Five people went to a cage match with Chuck Norris. They had to last five seconds, if they scream mercy, then they will stop the fight and go. The first guy screamed mercy in the first second, and went. The next guy came, said "MERCY!" but Chuck Norris kept beating him up... and eventually killed him. The next guy got to four seconds before he was sent to the hiosptital. The next shot himself in the head, beleiving it was better. The fith guy got PWNed.

The Devil wanted to have the job as being Chuck Norris, but got stuck with being the Devil.

"Which is better? Chuck Norris or Darth Vader?" Chuck Norris once said to a store clerk. "Defiantly Dar-(PUNCH)(KICK)Ch-sob-Chuck Norris..." the clerk said.