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Blonde Jokes
Q: whats blondes best friend
A: herself.
Heyy imma blonde thats like hairist
hey imma blonde haha
hey theres a blond joke i made on your so stupid. - Jake Cost (leafpoolwolf)
Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
A blonde was determined to show his wife he wasn't stupid so he painted the kitchen.
when she came back from work she said "the kitchen looks great but why are you wearing three jackets?"
the paint said best with three coats
How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?
Tell her that the drinks are on the house
What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?
A vacant possession.
What did the blonde's dentist find?
Teeth in the cavity
What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
She's trying to hold on to a thought
What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A padded dash
Why do blondes use white-out on their computer screens?
They couldn't find their eraser.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell...she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Why did the blonde cross the road?
She wanted to see the geese because she heard honking!
Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for hours?
Because it said 'concentrate'.
Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
To avoid the draft.
What do blonde virgins eat?
Baby food.
Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
She wanted to go on a round trip.
Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
She thought it was diet coke.
What does an illiterate blonde text when she laughs?
OLL!
A: herself.
Heyy imma blonde thats like hairist
Q: What do bricks and blondes have in common?
A: They both get laid by mexicans!
On the Rocks or Frozen?
A blonde walked into a bar and said, "I'd like a margarita please." The bartender said, "Would you like that 'on the rocks'?" The blonde replied, "No, for here is fine."
hey theres a blond joke i made on your so stupid. - Jake Cost (leafpoolwolf)
Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
A blonde was determined to show his wife he wasn't stupid so he painted the kitchen.
when she came back from work she said "the kitchen looks great but why are you wearing three jackets?"
the paint said best with three coats
How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?
Tell her that the drinks are on the house
What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?
A vacant possession.
What did the blonde's dentist find?
Teeth in the cavity
What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
She's trying to hold on to a thought
What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A padded dash
Why do blondes use white-out on their computer screens?
They couldn't find their eraser.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell...she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Why did the blonde cross the road?
She wanted to see the geese because she heard honking!
Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for hours?
Because it said 'concentrate'.
Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
To avoid the draft.
What do blonde virgins eat?
Baby food.
Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
She wanted to go on a round trip.
Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
She thought it was diet coke.
What does an illiterate blonde text when she laughs?
OLL!
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Latest page update: made by hopeurbeautiful11
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Keyword tags:
blond jokes
blonde jokes
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| whitboii | rascism | 4 | Jan 19 2012, 2:18 AM EST by bata10200 | ||
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Thread started: May 3 2011, 1:01 AM EDT
Watch
what do you do to stop black kids from jumping on the bed
put velcro on the roof lol
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| Brian_J1984 | Blonde jokes | 1 | Mar 21 2011, 11:10 PM EDT by anyuta34i | ||
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Thread started: Mar 2 2011, 10:22 AM EST
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Q. What does a blonde and a screen door have in common?
A. The more you bang them the looser they get,
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| pinkyd52 | lol :) | 3 | Aug 24 2010, 7:14 AM EDT by dragosh01 | ||
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Thread started: Jul 22 2010, 2:11 PM EDT
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all go into a barn and hide in different, empty potatoes sacks because they’re wanted by the police. A cop comes in and pokes the first bag with the redhead and she says, “MEOW!” He pokes the second bag with the brunette and she says, “WOOF!” He pokes the third bag with the blonde and she says, “POTATOES!”
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. While driving home from the dealer she cuts off a semi, almost driving off a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle in the dust and tells her that she can't move or he will kill her. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees that she's smiling. So he goes back to his truck and gets a baseball bat and starts smashing the windows and denting her car. He looks over and sees that she's laughing. He's really mad now so he takes his knife and slashes her tires. He looks back to see that the blonde is laughing so hard she's about to fall over. He demands, what is so funny? She takes a deep breath and says, "Every time you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle." A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next." MY FAV! :D
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