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Blonde Jokes |
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| Blonde jokes | Short blonde Jokes | Dirty blonde jokes | Famous blondes |
Blondes have a reputation for being ditzy that's been around as long as they have. Some blondes think they have escaped the "dumb" stereotype, but as long as famous blondes keep saying stupid stuff (Chicken of the Sea, anyone?), we'll continue to make fun of them. Blonde jokes are completely harmless anyway because blondes don't understand them in the first place!
| A blonde woman was driving by a wheat field when she saw a blonde in the middle of the field trying to row a boat. The blonde driver pulled over and yelled to the woman in the field, "You know - it's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I knew how to swim, I'd come out there and drown you!" |
 A brunette was jumping up and down on a set of railroad tracks saying, "21, 21, 21." A blonde walked by, noticed the brunette, started jumping up and down on the tracks repeating what the brunette was saying.The brunette heard a train whistle and jumped off of the tracks. The blonde kept jumping and saying, "21, 21, 21." The train ran over the blonde. When the train passed, the brunette jumped back on the tracks and started saying, "22, 22, 22." |
| A blonde found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer kept trying to get the blonde to play a game of intelligence but she refused. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10-to-1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured he could not lose and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. Then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"  The lawyer was puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally - angry and frustrated - he gave up and paid the blonde $50.The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. |
 A blonde and a brunette are sitting in a bar and watching the 11pm news. A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building, contemplating suicide.The brunette says to the blonde, "I'll bet you $20 that the man jumps off that building and commits suicide." The blonde thinks for a moment then replies, "OK, you're on!" They watch for a few minutes and sure enough, the man jumps off the ledge. The blonde sighs and reaches for her wallet, but the brunette stops her, saying, "I can't take your money - I feel too guilty. I have to confess that I watched the 6 pm news this evening and I knew that the man would jump." The blonde replied, "Oh! I watched the 6 pm news too, but I didn't think he'd jump off again!" |
| A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00 and decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. Once she finds the perfect bull, she is to telegram the blonde so they can transport it together. Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams but the owner says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer. The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199?" The brunette accepts and buys the bull. The brunette now has $1.00 left for the telegram, but the telegram guy informs her that it is $1 per word. The brunette thinks about this and says,"'Comfortable,' write that." "Comfortable?" the guy questions. "Yes, you see she reads slow." |
 Three women were stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. She announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." After 5 miles, she was already really tired. She made it 10 miles from the island before she became too tired to go on, and drowned.Meanwhile, the redhead thought to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." She began to swim, and since she had more endurance than the brunette, she made it 10 miles before she even got tired. Unfortunately, after 15 miles she was too tired to go on, so she drowned as well. Now the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, 10 miles, 15 miles, and finally 19 miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back. |
| A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were having a breast stroke swimming contest to see who the better swimmer was. It was a 5 mile race. At the finish, the red head came first, then the brunette, and finally, after two hours of waiting, the blonde arrived. The red head and the brunette asked what had taken her so long. She replied, "Well, I don't want to be picky or anything, but, I think you two were using you're hands!" |
| A blonde gets in an elevator and sees a man standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir," to which he replies, "S-H-I-T, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice — T stands for 'Thank,' G stands for 'goodness,' I stands for 'it's,' and F stands for 'Friday.' The man replies, "S stands for 'Sorry,' H stands for 'honey,' I stands for 'it's,' and T stands for 'Thursday.' |
| A blonde a brunette and a redhead escape from jail. The brunette hides in a dog house, the redhead hides behind a scratching post, and the blonde hides in a sack of potatoes.The police knock on the dog house and the brunette goes "woof woof," so they move on. The police knock on the scratching post and the redhead says "meow meow," so they move on. When the police knock on the bag of potatoes, the blonde says "potatoes!" |
| Blonde jokes | Short blonde Jokes | Dirty blonde jokes | Famous blondes |
