I'm not the only one who noticed the press bias against John McCain. So has John McCain. Last week, his campaign sent an e-mail to reporters saying, "It's pretty obvious that the media has a bizarre fascination with Barack Obama. Some may even say it's a love affair." This has got to be hard on McCain. It is tough seeing your old flame with someone new. John McCain and the media had a very hot fling back in the summer of 2000. They even had cute little nicknames for each other. The press called McCain "Maverick," and McCain called the press any time he wanted favorable coverage.

Nation, the big story is still Barack Obama's world tour. I got to give him credit. Once again today, he made history by being the first man to travel around the world in a plane propelled only by the power of the media's flash photography. But I got to say, there are some cracks starting to show in Obama's overseas juggernaut. Take a look at what he said yesterday in the Israeli town of Sderot: [Obama claims to be on the Senate Banking Committee]. Pretty impressive. Only problem: Obama isn't on the Banking Committee. He tells everyone that, but in fact he is the Banking Committee equipment manager. Senator, if are you going to lie about being on a committee, at least choose a cool one. Like the Senate Committee on Lion Fighting. Or the Jet Pack Caucus.

But while Obama was speaking to 100,000 adoring fans in Germany, McCain made his own impressive German appearance [at Schmidt's Sausage Haus]. Unfortunately, not many supporters showed up, possibly due to his advertising flyers: "Come to John McCain's Sausage Party." Senator, excellent job matching Obama step for step, but he has been to a lot of countries, so if you just cover your bases, you might want to hit an IHOP.

But John McCain isn't holding a grudge here. No, he's just trying to protect the press, warning them that the new man in their life is not what he appears to be. Because what he appears to be is the president. Obama is giving speeches behind a presidential seal, his new airplane has been nicknamed O Force One. He's even talking like the president [video of Obama saying Israel is a strong friend of Israel's]. Needless to say, that statement enraged the Palestinians, who are a strong friend of the Palestinians. This guy is so presumptuous. Hey Obama, this election isn't over until the Supreme Court says it is.

Dr. Gupta's Penis Pyramid
The Word: Barack-Handed Compliment	Barry and the Stump