Q. How do you drive an accountant absolutely insane?
A. Tie him to a chair, and fold a road map up wrong in front of him.

Q. Why did the Accountant cross the road?
A. To bore the people on the other side!

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.

Q. Why do audit firms only have 10 minute coffee breaks?
A. If the breaks were longer, they'd have to retrain all the staff.

Q. Why do Accountant's make good lovers?
A. They're great with their figures.

Q. What is the difference between a CPA and a shopping cart?
A. A CPA holds more beverage.

Q. What do you call an Accountant who marries an Actuary?
A. A Social Climber.

Q. What does an accountant use for birth control?
A. His personality.